Honestly, I've been told that before. When I complained about something or someone, my friend would retort, "That sounds like a YOU problem." Her not so gentle way of telling me the situation was only a problem because I had interpreted it that way. Had someone else been the source of my complaint or if it had happened to another person, it would not be a big deal. It was only a big deal to me.
I hope you have honest friends like that who tell you when you're being unreasonable or petty or just plain wrong. I have several... probably more than my share. I find great comfort in knowing they are not saying anything to anyone else that they haven't said to my face. They act as if I'm not always right or not always dragging baggage into my relationships and interactions. Weird, right?
The truth is that I'm NOT always right and often have more baggage than LaGuardia. True friends see through it all and love me anyway. And tell me when I'm the problem.
I think Jesus was that kind of friend - the One Who would tell you to your face "I don't condemn you but knock it off!" The One Who would know you sold Him out and still called you "comrade." Or in our passage today, the One Who would react the One seeking His intervention with a bold, "that sounds like a You problem."
Martha welcomed Jesus into her home and commenced with the long and arduous to do list of serving a meal to a high-profile guest Who was also a friend. Her plate was full, and her sister was no help. No doubt, Martha welcomed Jesus so she could enjoy His company, and instead Mary was enjoying His company while she tended to all the preparations of the meal. I'd be upset too.
Just so you can read for yourself the palpable tension in the air, here's Luke's account in chapter 10 of his Gospel:
"38 Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. 39 And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. 40 But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” 41 But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, 42 but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”
Now, I'm not likely to tell you anything here you don't already know about this story. If you've been around Christian circles for very long, you've likely heard it taught more than once. Mary chose to be with Jesus. Martha was just too busy.
But what if we look at this story through the lens of prayer?
Martha had a problem with Mary. Mary wasn't acting the way Martha thought she should. Martha talked to Jesus about Mary and asked Him to fix her. That sounds like the rudimentary understanding of prayer for about 58.26% of people who pray (totally random, made-up number, by the way). Believe it or not, many people view prayer as a means to get people to do what they want them to do.
Meh... that sounds like a really frustrating way to pray, and one that's not likely to be effective.
What if prayer were less about wanting people to do what we think they should do and more wanting people to be in a position where God can work? Less, "make them behave". More "Lord, where are they in relation to You? What will close the gap so they can hear from You?" Prayer for others, for me, is often much like matchmaking - I just want to get the two (God and them) together and watch the magic happen. I pray the obstacles keeping them apart will be removed.
There are times when I want people to just do what I think they should do, but prayer is not overriding freewill. Listen, if God won't override someone's freewill over what He wants, He's certainly not going to do that over what I want.
I have people in my life that I wish Jesus would just fix. I can't make them love me. I can't make them like me. I can't even get them to return a text message. And the Martha in me gets frustrated and blurts out, "God fix them!" And in the face of that "prayer", I think Jesus' response is still the same, "that sounds like a you problem. Lisa, you are anxious and troubled about many things. Pray for what matters!" And what is that? It's their relationship with God, their proximity to Him to hear from Him, and the eternal consequences on their souls. There's far more at stake than my small vision of how someone should treat me or should behave.
The prayer ought to be to make sure I'm in a place to hear from God, and to pray that they are too. It's a reminder that I can't even fix myself, let alone those who frustrate me. My prayer is that I won't miss Jesus because my anxieties have clouded my view of what He's really doing - working in a way I cannot see, don't understand, and sadly, don't trust. Isn't that really the difference here - do I pray because I'm trusting God to work His will, His way, or because I think He doesn't notice or is messing things up?
When we pray, let's be matchmakers, asking God to make a way for Him to do what only He can do. And may we have the humility and grace to hear from our Friend when there is a you problem.
Lord, Jesus, when my frustration and prayers reveal my problematic need to control or perform, please be the kind of Friend that tells me it's a me problem. Recenter my focus on matchmaking - getting You and the people in my life in the same room and watch You do what You do so well. Draw them to Yourself and may Your words to them give them grace and healing. Remove whatever is keeping them from You, and may we see them sitting at Your feet knowing You'll handle whatever needs to be handled, change whatever needs to be changed... especially when it's me.