There is a language in tears... one that only the soul can understand and interpret. From life's first cry, tears have been our means of communication for that which we cannot find words. When our hearts are aching and we can't seem to find a way to express our frustration or anger or pain, tears will all too willing do that for us. What we cannot say will spill from our eyes and blur our vision. What we cannot put into words we put into tissues and handkerchiefs one drop at a time. Speaking from the deepest recesses of our soul, tears say what we struggle to communicate.
I've learned this is never more true than in worship. God help if I find my way to church without Kleenex - it gets ugly fast. But there's something about the Spirit of God among a body of believers that will always reduce me to tears - often just at the thought that an infinite God chose me to love me and to redeem me. I'm far too aware of my failures to think I deserve anything from Him, and yet He loves. Still He does. Still I fail and places of my heart grow cold. Yet in worship, as the music plays and the words touch my soul, the coldness melts and like icicles in the January sun a steady stream falls from my eyes.
We partook in communion on Sunday like we do every first Sunday of the month, and as I wrestled with bread and cup and tissue I was struck with this thought. Of all the places that have grown cold or calloused in my heart, this one is still tender. That Christ died for me - His body broken and His blood shed on my behalf. How could that not bring tears?
His body
Broken
symbolized by the bread.
His blood
Spilled
symbolized by the cup.
His body - what was seen. His blood - what was unseen. Both offered so that I could be made whole, so that the brokenness within and the brokenness without could be healed, so that those two worlds, inner and outer, would be congruent. That what was decimated and ruined would be restored, renewed.
There is very powerful scientific and spiritual evidence of the mind-body connection. Negative emotions can often manifest bodily disease and healing often begins with emotional and spiritual healing. You know... from those places that we can't always find words for. And as I tearfully took the bread and cup, I could only pray for that wholeness to mark my life.
God, please heal those broken places no one sees that ache in the quiet of lonely nights.
God, please make new all those outwardly broken bits that sometime can hurt other people.
That my mind and body would be whole and healthy and life-giving to me and those around me.
Well, that's what my heart wanted to say, but I only found that language in tears.
I've learned this is never more true than in worship. God help if I find my way to church without Kleenex - it gets ugly fast. But there's something about the Spirit of God among a body of believers that will always reduce me to tears - often just at the thought that an infinite God chose me to love me and to redeem me. I'm far too aware of my failures to think I deserve anything from Him, and yet He loves. Still He does. Still I fail and places of my heart grow cold. Yet in worship, as the music plays and the words touch my soul, the coldness melts and like icicles in the January sun a steady stream falls from my eyes.
We partook in communion on Sunday like we do every first Sunday of the month, and as I wrestled with bread and cup and tissue I was struck with this thought. Of all the places that have grown cold or calloused in my heart, this one is still tender. That Christ died for me - His body broken and His blood shed on my behalf. How could that not bring tears?
Broken
symbolized by the bread.
His blood
Spilled
symbolized by the cup.
His body - what was seen. His blood - what was unseen. Both offered so that I could be made whole, so that the brokenness within and the brokenness without could be healed, so that those two worlds, inner and outer, would be congruent. That what was decimated and ruined would be restored, renewed.
There is very powerful scientific and spiritual evidence of the mind-body connection. Negative emotions can often manifest bodily disease and healing often begins with emotional and spiritual healing. You know... from those places that we can't always find words for. And as I tearfully took the bread and cup, I could only pray for that wholeness to mark my life.
God, please heal those broken places no one sees that ache in the quiet of lonely nights.
God, please make new all those outwardly broken bits that sometime can hurt other people.
That my mind and body would be whole and healthy and life-giving to me and those around me.
Well, that's what my heart wanted to say, but I only found that language in tears.