Sometimes, I make decisions and then spend more time second guessing myself than I did in deciding to begin with. I'm a worrier. Prone to anxiety, Lord, I feel it. Prone to abandon my confidence when I most need it and when I'm too far down a corn-row to turn back. I take forever to make decisions and once I do, I take longer to determine if it was the right thing to do. This self-confession leaves me to myself as I'm sure not one other soul I know does the same thing. You all know exactly what you what, when the right time is to move on it and then you never look back. I envy you. I don't think I've ever done that... ok, maybe once and it was fairly recently.
I think the Lord gave me some insight though on why I'm this way.
Why I struggle to choose a path and march on.
Why I tend to lose my footing looking back at that fork in the road wondering if I chose correctly.
Why I have spent a lifetime doing so many things that might never have been meant for me to do.
I see all my whys with great clarity after reading John 6.
In John 6 we find Jesus ministering to the crowd in the Galilee. People were ill and followed Jesus looking for healing. They were oppressed and needed hope. They were hungry and needed help. Jesus met every need. He healed the sick. He taught them with great wisdom. He saw their needs and met them - even feeding 5000 ill-prepared, hungry people. He gave them leadership when political authorities barely tolerated them. He offered a faith free of complication when spiritual authorities multiplied rules and expectations.
And there's this moment after He fed 5000 people by the Sea of Galilee as the disciples gathered up surplus of provision where there had been none that this massive light bulb turned on above the collective people on that beautiful hillside. (Maybe not a lightbulb so much since those came significantly later in history. Maybe more of a collective "Aha".) As the people watched this man from Galilee lead with authority, solve problems, meet their needs, gather a surplus, and seemingly never tire, they thought, "this is Who we need." But they didn't know they needed a Savior. They thought they needed a king. They still thought their greatest needs were physical and political.
Jesus knew, however, those needs simply gave Him an avenue to address their real needs that were spiritual. He also knew they were going to try to force Him to become their king.
So He withdrew.
He left.
Easy decision.
No vacillating back and forth.
No second-guessing after the fact.
Before the chants of "Be our King" could swell, before the anointing oil spilled over His brow, before He could be backed into a throne-shaped corner, Jesus left them and moved on.
Jesus knew what He was called to do.
Jesus knew He was not on earth to be King.
Could He be a good king? He'd be amazing. Healing would be universal healthcare. Free loaves and fishes would be socialized provision. Separation of church and state might get tricky, but you can't have everything. Good king? Great king! But that's not what He had come to them to be.
The truth is Jesus decision to withdraw from them was rooted in this truth - He knew who He was and what He was called to do; and He refused to be defined by someone else's need. And hear me on this - the need was valid. It was real and genuine and obvious to everyone. But Jesus would rather have let the need go unmet than to get sidetracked from His mission.
It makes me wonder if that was also the root of Him asking His disciples, "who do the crowds say that I am?" He was asking what their expectation of Him was. The disciples answered with a list of possibilities - John the Baptist, Elijah, one of the prophets raised from the dead. (That last one was quite a reach and a little creepy.)
So He asked again, "but who do you say that I am?" "who are you asking me to be?" maybe even "do you really know what I'm here to do?" Peter answered perfectly - "You're the Messiah."
Here's what it comes down to for you and me - people will always try to define you according to their own need. They're far less concerned with what fulfills you than with what fills their never-ending list of shortfalls and problems. And if you answer the call of everyone's needs, you'll never answer the real calling God has on your life. A need-filler is far inferior to being the person God created you to be doing the good works He ordained for you to do. I'm not saying that God will never call on you to serve Him by meeting someone's need. I'm saying that someone's need does not take priority over your accountability before God to do what He's asking you and designed you to do.
First of all, you need to know what that is. It sways all your decisions. It gives weight to your priorities and your calendar. Look objectively at your life and with prayer before God discern what is an ability, what is a skill, what is a talent, and what is a calling - and those things are all very different. I have an ability to be a decent admin for an organization. I don't think I'm skilled at it. It's not a talent and it's certainly not a calling. I have a skill for making things look nice - in print, in a room. I don't think it's a talent or a calling. I have a talent for leading worship. But my calling is teaching and edifying through writing. All of those things are based on what people need from me. But there is only one that I'm confident God designed me to do. I know that what God has called me to do trumps everything else, and knowing that makes my decision process far less complicated and mystical.
You have a similar list. What is it that you do and where does it fall - skill, ability, talent or calling? "Be who God created you to be and you will set the world on fire." (St. Catherine) Be who everyone needs you to be and you will burn out. It may be time to withdraw from others' expectations and be about the Father's business in a way that He meant for you to be.
Secondly if you're a leader, you will always be tempted to see your human resources in light of need in your organization that need to be met. (I'm looking at you, Ministers, Para-churches and non-profits.) It's part of the job. Constantly recruiting. Constantly identifying holes in the organization that need to be filled. Constantly plugging those holes. Can I encourage you today to make sure you're not putting square pegs in round holes. I realize there are times you just need to get something done. But for the long haul, for the good of the organization, let people flourish in the ways and areas God designed them to operate. Don't define people according to your need - define them by their giftedness.
Do you know what God has called you to do? who He intended you to be? How will you ever know the good works He prepared for you to do if you spend all your time meeting people's expectations instead of His?
You can take an online assessment of your spiritual gifts to help you determine what God designed you to do. Let me know in the comments how you scored and how you believe God will use that calling in you for the Kingdom.
I think the Lord gave me some insight though on why I'm this way.
Why I struggle to choose a path and march on.
Why I tend to lose my footing looking back at that fork in the road wondering if I chose correctly.
Why I have spent a lifetime doing so many things that might never have been meant for me to do.
I see all my whys with great clarity after reading John 6.
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| Drowning in Masses |
In John 6 we find Jesus ministering to the crowd in the Galilee. People were ill and followed Jesus looking for healing. They were oppressed and needed hope. They were hungry and needed help. Jesus met every need. He healed the sick. He taught them with great wisdom. He saw their needs and met them - even feeding 5000 ill-prepared, hungry people. He gave them leadership when political authorities barely tolerated them. He offered a faith free of complication when spiritual authorities multiplied rules and expectations.
And there's this moment after He fed 5000 people by the Sea of Galilee as the disciples gathered up surplus of provision where there had been none that this massive light bulb turned on above the collective people on that beautiful hillside. (Maybe not a lightbulb so much since those came significantly later in history. Maybe more of a collective "Aha".) As the people watched this man from Galilee lead with authority, solve problems, meet their needs, gather a surplus, and seemingly never tire, they thought, "this is Who we need." But they didn't know they needed a Savior. They thought they needed a king. They still thought their greatest needs were physical and political.
Jesus knew, however, those needs simply gave Him an avenue to address their real needs that were spiritual. He also knew they were going to try to force Him to become their king.
So He withdrew.
He left.
Easy decision.
No vacillating back and forth.
No second-guessing after the fact.
Before the chants of "Be our King" could swell, before the anointing oil spilled over His brow, before He could be backed into a throne-shaped corner, Jesus left them and moved on.
Jesus knew what He was called to do.
Jesus knew He was not on earth to be King.
Could He be a good king? He'd be amazing. Healing would be universal healthcare. Free loaves and fishes would be socialized provision. Separation of church and state might get tricky, but you can't have everything. Good king? Great king! But that's not what He had come to them to be.
The truth is Jesus decision to withdraw from them was rooted in this truth - He knew who He was and what He was called to do; and He refused to be defined by someone else's need. And hear me on this - the need was valid. It was real and genuine and obvious to everyone. But Jesus would rather have let the need go unmet than to get sidetracked from His mission.
It makes me wonder if that was also the root of Him asking His disciples, "who do the crowds say that I am?" He was asking what their expectation of Him was. The disciples answered with a list of possibilities - John the Baptist, Elijah, one of the prophets raised from the dead. (That last one was quite a reach and a little creepy.)
So He asked again, "but who do you say that I am?" "who are you asking me to be?" maybe even "do you really know what I'm here to do?" Peter answered perfectly - "You're the Messiah."
Here's what it comes down to for you and me - people will always try to define you according to their own need. They're far less concerned with what fulfills you than with what fills their never-ending list of shortfalls and problems. And if you answer the call of everyone's needs, you'll never answer the real calling God has on your life. A need-filler is far inferior to being the person God created you to be doing the good works He ordained for you to do. I'm not saying that God will never call on you to serve Him by meeting someone's need. I'm saying that someone's need does not take priority over your accountability before God to do what He's asking you and designed you to do.
First of all, you need to know what that is. It sways all your decisions. It gives weight to your priorities and your calendar. Look objectively at your life and with prayer before God discern what is an ability, what is a skill, what is a talent, and what is a calling - and those things are all very different. I have an ability to be a decent admin for an organization. I don't think I'm skilled at it. It's not a talent and it's certainly not a calling. I have a skill for making things look nice - in print, in a room. I don't think it's a talent or a calling. I have a talent for leading worship. But my calling is teaching and edifying through writing. All of those things are based on what people need from me. But there is only one that I'm confident God designed me to do. I know that what God has called me to do trumps everything else, and knowing that makes my decision process far less complicated and mystical.
You have a similar list. What is it that you do and where does it fall - skill, ability, talent or calling? "Be who God created you to be and you will set the world on fire." (St. Catherine) Be who everyone needs you to be and you will burn out. It may be time to withdraw from others' expectations and be about the Father's business in a way that He meant for you to be.
Secondly if you're a leader, you will always be tempted to see your human resources in light of need in your organization that need to be met. (I'm looking at you, Ministers, Para-churches and non-profits.) It's part of the job. Constantly recruiting. Constantly identifying holes in the organization that need to be filled. Constantly plugging those holes. Can I encourage you today to make sure you're not putting square pegs in round holes. I realize there are times you just need to get something done. But for the long haul, for the good of the organization, let people flourish in the ways and areas God designed them to operate. Don't define people according to your need - define them by their giftedness.
Do you know what God has called you to do? who He intended you to be? How will you ever know the good works He prepared for you to do if you spend all your time meeting people's expectations instead of His?
You can take an online assessment of your spiritual gifts to help you determine what God designed you to do. Let me know in the comments how you scored and how you believe God will use that calling in you for the Kingdom.