Churchworld Behind the Scenes - Loving People

For twenty years of my very young (cough cough) life, I got my paycheck from one church or another.  I was, what we refer to as, "in the ministry" which basically means one thing - I am accountable before God for my work and leadership in the church more than the average attender.  Not necessarily a perk of the job, but it keeps you honest.  In those years, I learned a lot about people, leadership and churchworld.  Nothing groundbreaking, mind you - no one's gathering their staff around waiting for these posts with bated breath.  But, as one of my more redneckier friends once told me, "I don't know everything, but I don't know nothing."  A few of these things I think could be helpful to you regardless of where you get your paycheck.  If  you love people, lead people or engage in church on any level, you'll get at least something from this series of posts even if all you get is mad at me.  (Which, let's face it, IS possible - I was in ministry.)  And yes, we're making "redneckier" a word.

BTS - Two Things About Loving People

"95% of ministry is just showing up."

It seems to me that people can usually endure amazing hardship without information, but rarely without companionship.  Questions are hard and answers are few... sometimes they never come.  Such times are infinitely more survivable with someone in the room with you.  

Drive three hours to a funeral to be present for a friend.  Did I have any answers?  No. Did  I know what to say?  Not a clue.  I'm not sure I even prayed with them.  Did it mean anything to them that I was there?  Yes.  Did it minister to them?  Yes.  Do I know why?  Nope - except that I was there in the crowd experiencing it in a small way along with them.  

Spend the night in a waiting room at Arnold Palmer Hospital waiting to hear what to do about a one-year-old's brain bleed.  Did we pray? Yes.  Mostly we cried and slept... just down the hall, waiting, available, ready, neck-crooked and bloated from sleeplessness, but present.  Did we witness miraculous healing?  Not that night.  Did it minister to them? Yes.  Do I know why? Nope - except that we were there available and supportive.

Bring communion to a dying man and sing a hymn next to his bed with his family.  Certainly not the most elaborate service I've ever put together.  We sang and prayed, but I'll never forget that hug with his wife, the caregiver, as we left; whispering in her ear words of hope and strength and comfort.  Was it perfect?  Kinda pitch-y really.  Did I say the exact right thing?  I don't know.  Did it minister to them?  Yes.  Do I know why?  Nope - except that we showed up and brought to them what they couldn't come and get from a church building.  

You don't have to know everything.  You don't have to do something grand or glorious.  Be there.  Be in the room.  Make eye contact.  Put your phone away.  Engage in a mutual memory.  Hold a hand.  Hug a neck.  Cry with them.  BE with them.  It matters to people.  It's real ministry.  

"People deserve to hear you pray for them."

Christians tend to be really good at saying "I'll pray for you."  We're probably better at that, than actually remembering to pray for people.  I can't think of one time in my life when someone's off-the-cuff "I'll pray for you" on their way to another conversation ever changed my life.  I could rehearse with great detail though the times, someone stood in front of me and said, "let's pray".  

I think the first time I remember that happening was at a prayer meeting (imagine that) when my friends Butch & Alyson Brown prayed for me on the spot.  And God answered in a big way that very week.  (They also taught me to never close your eyes when you pray for someone - you'll miss a lot of miracles if you're not watching their countenance as God sets them free.)  It occurred to me, as a result of that prayer with the Browns that if people don't hear you pray for them, how will they ever know how God came through for them?  What answers will they be looking forward to in faith if they've never heard your requests?  

And sometimes, this is just a part of "showing up".  You're words in their ear to God on their behalf is far more present in their life than "I'll pray for you" ever could be.  Be present.  Pray with people, not just for people.  

Now, I know what you're thinking - "I don't like to pray in front of people".  To  you I simply encourage you to get over yourself... or something stated with more compassion.  People who don't pray in front of others usually have made prayer about them instead of about the one they're praying for or the God they're praying to.  They don't want to look bad or sound stupid.  I encourage you, if you don't know how to pray, simply talk to God as your friend.  If you don't know what to pray for, simply ask the Holy Spirit to tell you what to pray for.  He's there to guide us into the will of God.  He will guide you into praying within that will.  And guess what?  If you pray for the "wrong thing", God is under no obligation to answer you.  It's not like He's up there saying, "well, I was going to do one thing, but they went and asked for something else... darn!  Now I can't do My thing."  (God probably doesn't say darn, by the way.  It was for affect.)  

Pray for people.  Let them hear you pray for them.  It will increase not only their faith, but yours as well.  

That's it... I just boiled 20 years of loving people into two principles that I believe above all the others.  Next post, we'll do the same with principles of leading people.